pettyrevenge:

This started on thanksgiving this year.

I am from Scotland and have been living in the US since Christmas day 2013.

In 2011 I met my wife when I was working in London. She is from Houston, Texas and was sent over to work for the London office of our company. We got married in 2012 and due to the company we work for closing down, we move back over to Austin, Texas where she was living for 20 years before London.

With her being from Texas you can imagine that some of her family are extremely conservative. Which I frankly don’t care if they are or not. However, doesn’t matter if you are a Conservative, liberal, socialist if you are a cunt then you can go fuck yourself.

We are sitting in the living room watching TV after an amazing thanksgiving dinner. Someone mentioned the whole new open carry law starting this new year in Texas. Being from Scotland where guns are a no no they ask me “what do you think of that law, uberhaqer. Being from a place with no guns”

“It’s kinda foreign to me. Not sure how I would react seeing a holstered gun in plain view. Honestly think I would feel uncomfortable and unsafe but that is just my upbringing”. Which I think is fair enough to say.

My wife’s aunt turns to me and comes out with. “Well that’s because you are from a socialist country. You also have a queen that rules you people. You are not citizens. You are a subject. If you were allowed guns you would be a citizen”. She then proceeds to tell me that the Syrian refugees coming over its bad and she needs to protect herself from them.

Fast forward an hour and she is pretty drunk. We are about to head back home. I thank everyone for the great meal and she turns and says “too bad you are not going back to your own country”. I don’t say anything at all. I did not want to stoop to get level…then.

Since then she has apologized. Via text. I reply saying “no problem. Dont worry about it”

So. We go to Houston for Christmas. She is there. We exchange gifts. I hand her an envelope. She opens it and as I expected, she loses her fucking mind. Throws the piece of paper on the ground and storms out.

My mother in law picks up the paper and reads.

“A donation of $250 had been made to unicef usa for the Syrian Child Refugees by Uberhaqer on behalf of Aunts Name”

I just say “I thought, judging by the pro life sticker on her car, she would appreciate that…my bad”

Sit down and swig my whiskey. Rest of the evening was awkward. What a bawbag she is.

(Source: redd.it, via trust)

• guy: something spooky's happening
• fred: k we'll come check it out
• fred: daphne, velma come with me
• daphne: lol okei
• shaggy: but scooby and i are terrified of everything why do you always fucking send us off alone
• velma: shut up you two
• shaggy and scooby: *run into monster*
• scooby: RAGGY
• shaggy: *oblivious to everything*
• scooy: RAAAAGGGGGY
• shaggy: zoinks!
• *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 1*
• shaggy and scooby: *meet up with fred, velma, and daphne*
• fred: what happened?
• shaggy: M-M-MONSTER
• velma: uh oh
• monster: boo
• all: AAAAH
• *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 2*
• *they run into one room and come out of another one, i don't fucking know how that's possible*
• velma: my glasses! i lost my glasses!
• monster: *picks up velma's glasses and hands them to her*
• velma: thanks. ....JINKIES!
• *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 3*
• monster: whoops i tripped
• scooby: i captured you
• *they pull the monster's mask off*
• fred: oh look it's the suspicious guy we met at the beginning of the episode who was super suspicious and greedy and he wanted money
• suspicious guy: and i would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog
• scooby: ROOBY ROOBY ROO
• all: *laugh*

demho3zhatinq:

billy:

if you step on a person’s foot they open their mouths, just like trash cans.

LMAO WHY AM I STILL LAUGHING AT THIS

(via ruinedchildhood)